Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?" "No!" Jesus replied, "seventy times seven!" Matthew 18:21_22 (NLT)
Forgiveness is a process.
Forgiveness isn’t a one off event - it’s unending (cf. Luke 17:4). Even after you’ve extended or received forgiveness you’ll have to pursue a forgiving spirit, i.e. you’ll have to continually foster forgiveness in your heart (cf. Matthew 6:12).
Forgiveness is limited.
God doesn’t teach us to unconditionally forgive everyone for everything. Forgiveness is limited to those who repent (cf. Luke 17:3). In The Two Sides of Forgiveness, R. McQuilkin says, "We can justify this distinction by returning to the two basic meanings of forgive: to remit the guilt and to relinquish resentment. In the sense of remitting guilt, God, in love, forgives a specified few and, in love, does not forgive the majority of humankind. In the sense of relinquishing resentment, however, God forgives everyone."
Forgiveness is costly.
If you’ve been offended, the cost of forgiveness is cancelling the debt and not taking revenge (cf. Romans 12:17-21). If you’ve offended someone, the cost is humble confession, repentance, taking responsibility for your actions, refusing to make excuses, making restitution when needed, and receiving grace with gratefulness. While the cost of forgiveness is high, the restoration and release that comes is priceless.
Forgiveness requires loving confrontation.
For forgiveness to take place the facts must be clearly identified and addressed. Matthew 18:15 says, "If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the fault . . ." (NLT). That’s not to say that every and all offenses should be confronted. We must strike a balance between the destructive extremes of always or never confronting sin.
Forgiveness isn’t forgetting.
God is all knowing. If God is all knowing, He doesn’t forget, i.e. He doesn’t erase our sins from His memory. But in Jeremiah 31:34 He says, "And I will forgive their wickedness and will never again remember their sins" (NLT). Isn’t this a contradiction? No. When God says He will never remember our sins, He’s essentially saying He doesn’t hold them against us, i.e. He won’t use them to accuse us. So God doesn’t teach us to forget, but He does teach us not to hold sins against one another.
Forgiveness begins in Christ.
Forgiveness only really begins when you recognise you’ve been forgiven. Christ died on the cross for the forgiveness of your sin - all your sin (cf. Romans 5:6-11). We have been forgiven so much. How can we not forgive others, who by comparison, have offended less (cf. Matthew 18:23-35).
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"Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive." C. S. Lewis.
