TEXT: 3 JOHN 1:4

Our theme for the year is Choose Life. Jesus says, "The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness" John 10:10 (NLT). Our enemy, the devil, prowls around seeking someone to devour (cf. 1 Peter 5:8). He and his demons are hell bent on one objective _ to destroy your life. That's the bad news. But Jesus is heaven sent with one objective _ to give you abundant life. That's the good news. Your coming fully alive is what Jesus is fully committed to. The church father, Irenaeus puts it well when he says, "The glory of God is man fully alive."

"The glory of God is man fully alive." I've been thinking about this quote recently. Specifically, I've been wondering how it applies to me as a father. If I'm to be fully alive as a dad, what does that mean? What's involved? What kind of father does God want me to be to my children? What should I be saying or doing to model the abundant life I have in Christ? Maybe some of you father's, prospective father's and grandfather's have asked similar questions . . .

Well my musings led me to draw up a mission statement of the dad I want to be. In my capacity as a pastor I've spent years thinking about, verbalising, promoting, and tweaking church mission statements. But I've never crafted a mission statement for the dad I want to be. Until recently. Here it is:

Guided by the Word and depending on the power of the Holy Spirit, I will communicate to my children the real meaning of fullness of life in Christ. I will do this by being personally relevant and rooted in Christ, by loving Karen faithfully and passionately, and by encouraging Christie, Matthew and Jonathan to live all out for Christ.

Allow me to discuss my mission statement phrase by phrase:

1. Guided by the Word and depending on the power of the Holy Spirit.
Deuteronomy 6:4_9 is a foundational text for every father: ". . . The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again. Tie them to your hands as a reminder, and wear them on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates" (NLT).

I want to be a dad who commits himself wholeheartedly to the Word. Why? Because the Word is life (cf. John 1:1_4). The Bible is more than words. If my children are going to know fullness of life, they must know the Word. And in order for them to know the Word _ I must be a man of the Word. If I want my children to live by the Book _ I must live by the Book. I have a simple goal: To live according to the Word by hiding it in my heart (cf. Psalm 119:11), by obeying it (cf. Psalm 119:17), by renewing and strengthening my life according to it (cf. Psalm 119:25, 28), and by trusting and hoping in it (cf. Psalm 119:42, 81). The Word must be paramount in my home. My children must see me study the Word, hear me talk about the Word, know that I meditate on the Word, and taste the way I live out the Word. It's naïve to think my children will obey the Word if I don't obey the Word. Good parenting, being the dad God wants me to be, starts with being a man of the Word.

Alexander Maclaren said, "He who has the Holy Spirit in his heart and the scriptures in his hands has all he needs." I must be guided by the Word but I must also depend totally on the power of the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 5:18 says, ". . . let the Holy Spirit fill and control you" (NLT). I can never come fully alive in my own strength. If I am to rise to my fullest stature as a dad; if I am to be a powerful influence in my children's lives; I can't rely on my personality, my skill, my pedigree, my intellect, or my experience . . . these things will never be enough _ will never be adequate. The only way I can be God's man in my home is to have the Holy Spirit working in me and through me. Without the Spirit I'm nothing. So I pray every day and ask God to fill me with His Spirit. I say, "Lord, I can't do this dad thing without You, please help me, fill me with your Holy Spirit . . ." And God answers my prayers. He gives me wisdom, patience, self_control, grace, and so much more . . . He gives me the power I need to be the dad He wants me to be.

2. I will communicate to my children the real meaning of fullness of life in Christ.
Ephesians 6:4 says, "And now a word to you fathers. Don't make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord" (NLT).

It's my responsibility as a dad to nurture the spirituality of my children. I can't hand this off to someone else. I can't leave the spiritual nurturing of my children to my wife. I can't leave the spiritual nurturing of my children to my relatives. I can't leave the spiritual nurturing of my children to the church. And I can't leave the spiritual nurturing of my children to a Christian School. I'm responsible. I've got to step up to the plate. I must discipline and instruct my children in the way of the Lord.

In the book, Just Like Jesus, Max Lucado tells a story that demonstrates how important it is for fathers to keep their priorities in proper order: A lighthouse keeper who worked on a rocky stretch of coastline received oil once a month to keep his light burning bright. Not being far from the village, he had frequent guests. One night a woman needed oil to keep her family warm. Another night a father needed oil for his lamp. Then another needed oil to lubricate a wheel. All the requests seemed legitimate, so the lighthouse keeper tried to meet them all. Toward the end of the month, however, he ran out of oil and his lighthouse went dark, causing several ships to crash on the coastline. The man was reproved by his superiors. "You were given the oil for one reason," they said, "to keep the light burning."

Sometimes the good becomes the enemy of the best. I don't want that to happen in my home. I want to make sure my children are healthy spiritually _ that they know Jesus Christ and walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. Most everything else is secondary. Even though the demands of my work may scream for my attention, I try to keep perspective . . . I try to make sure the things I do don't become more important than meeting the spiritual needs of my children.

3. I will do this by being personally rooted in Christ.
I must walk the talk and talk the walk. I must do as I say and say as I do. My words and actions must line up (cf.1 John 3:18). I must never forget that my children are watching the moves I make, hearing the words I speak, and feeling the emotions I express. What I do my children will do. More is caught than taught. If I have the heart of a worshipper then my children will learn what it is to have the heart of a worshipper. If I put on the full armour of God and fight the good fight then my children will learn how to put on the full armour of God and fight the good fight.

When people talk about the physical resemblance between a boy and his father they say, "He's the spitting image of his dad." But we pass on far more than genetics. My children's ears are always open. They're watching me day and night. So if I want them to live only all for Jesus I must live only all for Jesus. My life verse helps me do this . . . I try to live by Deuteronomy 6:13 which says, "Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only" (NIV _ cf. Matthew 4:10)

4. By loving my wife faithfully and passionately.
Ephesians 5:25 says, "And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church" (NLT).

The best thing I can do for my children is love my wife. My relationship with Karen is the primary relationship in my home. I married her _ not my children. My love for her must be paramount. I want my children to know, without question, that their mother is the most important person in my life after Christ. This is fundamental. I cannot allow this to get out of alignment. Day by day and year by year we work at our marriage. We give each other gifts and compliments in front of our children. We kiss and cuddle a little in front of our children. When we have a disagreement and it's appropriate to discuss it openly, we fight fair in front of our children.

Now why is this so important? Because children learn to relate to other people by watching the relationship between their parents. If my children don't see how I handle conflict, how will they learn to handle conflict? If they don't hear me thanking Karen for a meal, how will they learn to say thank you? And if my children don't see me honouring and respecting their mother, how will they learn to honour and respect their mother.

5. By encouraging them to live all out for Christ.
Have you given your children your blessing? In Old Testament times when a father was about to die he would give his children a blessing. For example, in Genesis 49 we read about Jacob blessing his sons, each with a suitable blessing, and when he was done he died. Now I don't think we should wait until we're about to die before we give our children a blessing. We need to be constantly encouraging them to live all out for Christ. At the most basic level our children need to hear that we love them, are proud of them, and they can do all things through Christ who strengthens them (cf. Philippians 4:13). Individually our children need to be encouraged and directed to fulfill God's specific calling on their lives. I must train my children in the way each of them should go. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it" (NLT). In other words I must teach my children how to listen to Christ, love Christ, and live for Christ. But I can't take a cookie cutter approach to doing this. Christie, Matthew and Jonathan are all unique individuals with God's unique calling and anointing on their lives. In order to teach my children how to choose the right path I have to interact with them differently. I must emphasise slightly different things, expose each one to carefully selected and individualized experiences, and exercise varying degrees of flexibility. Christie is not Matthew and Matthew is not Jonathan. While all Christians must walk the narrow way (cf. Matthew 7:14) we all make the journey in different ways. My responsibility as a dad is to help my children make the journey the way they should go.

The dad I want to be . . .

"I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children live in the truth" 3 John :4 (NLT).

What about you? What kind of dad do you want to be? If you had to write out a mission statement, what would it say? If it's prudent for a church to have a mission statement, why shouldn't fathers have one too?

If you're a dad, here's something for you to do: Sometime this week, write a mission statement.

Then, once you've written it, give copies of your mission statement to your wife and children. That way, they can see your intent and hold you accountable to what you have written.

Well dad's, that's your homework. Let's remember that "The glory of God is man fully alive." Let's aim to be the kind of dad's God wants us to be.

Join me in praying this prayer for our children: